New Life in New Place

20th September 2010, marked as one of historical day in my life(wasn't really sure if that's the right word). I finally became a college student. Not just any college, an Islamic college. I was terribly ill, i got fever, sore throat, bad cough, it was ultimately a bad day to register to college. Yet, the plan must go on. Seriously, I was hesitate and intimidated to start a new life here. Yes, I have a very low self esteem. After my mom and my brother left, I actually felt okay and healthier than I was before. Alhamdulillah. We went through the orientation program, and I was a bit disappointed of myself because I didn't do well and I guess I didn't have a great first impression towards me. Maybe because I was not feeling well, or maybe I still feel clingy towards my family. Homesick?? yeah, maybe a little..at first, I admit that I cried in the middle of the night, but honestly, it has nothing to do with the place that I lived in, or the people there. It's just that I miss my family. So, yes. The problem is ME. Two days after, I was back in Rawang. Couple of days at home got me thinking, "Oh my God, Huda.. What else do you want in your life?? You finally got the opportunity of a lifetime. The place is wonderful, peaceful, you love the program you chose, you got a SCHOLARSHIP! MasyaAllah.. It's like everything you've been through had finally paid off. It feels so good. I have to put aside my homesickness, my youngest child behaviour and start act my age. I'm twenty and have to think, act, and behave like a twenty year old mature girl!! Yeah, I can do that..." Hurm..speking of maturity, I remembered what Teacher Mastura said when we went to her house, she said out of seven of us, I look mature. At first, I thought" Ha?? Mature?? Do I look that OLD??!! But.. I started to take the comment on a positive side. My life is different than my friends'. I chose the road less traveled by. So, I experienced a whole different side of life than theirs. Those experiences that made me, ME. A DIFFERENT HUDA. Thus, I have to learn and remind myself to not be so fragile and weak because I have always been a strong girl. I really need to star focus and do whatever it takes to achieve my dream. InsyaAllah, with all of the efforts, prayers and strong faith on Allah, I will make it. A twitch of supports from family and friends help a lot too!! huhu...

P/S: GO, GO HUDA!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!! :)